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Kill the Messenger
Episode 2, Season 7 of War. Enjoy! Kill the Messenger Gorsefur exhaled through his teeth, the cold air crisp as the falling leaves. He looked up at the sky, saw that it was a little before sun-high. It would be soon. Oakclaw had halfheartedly offered to come with him. The golden tom had grown used to being the peacekeeper in the last moon and a half, but he was obviously uncomfortable in the role. Gorsefur told him to stay in the den. Besides, if Oakclaw was at the Barracks with the others, there was a big chance he would be able to get them in a good mood before meeting the new cat. The cat who was replacing Stormflight. There wouldn't be a replacement for Snowflight, no one even knew that the white she-cat had joined up with them. Gorsefur pitied her- at least Stormflight died a hero, was celebrated and mourned. Snowflight died terrified, broken, alone. She died with her Clan hating her and her adoptive Clan not even knowing her name. She deserved so much more. The sun was shining directly on him now, and he moved beneath a tree for some shade. He wasn't so much hot as it was hard to see. And he wanted a good look at the new cat. The meeting had been scheduled here, in the clearing directly inside of the entrance to WaterClan Main. It wasn't too crowded and it allowed for a short walk before they got back to the Barracks. It made perfect logical sense. Of course, like everything Main did, it failed to account for emotion. Gorsefur didn't want a short walk to contemplate the cat he was essentially throwing to the wolves. He didn't want a moment to think on how this cat would be different from Stormflight, how they might be the same. He wanted to be Badgerstrike, who simply asked their names and told them where to go. Who got to leave when he wanted to. Blinking, Gorsefur wondered where that errant thought had come from. Probably the fact that I got no sleep, he thought, partly amused, partly grumbling. Morningkit had a particularly bad nightmare the night before. Gorsefur had spent most of the night consoling her and trying desperately to keep Wrenkit and Breezekit asleep (that didn't work). Somehow Brookfall had stayed asleep. She needed it- every night he was off trying to contain the explosive group that was their squad, she was the one taking care of the kits. A flicker of movement caught his attention. He looked around and caught sight of a cat who was clearly looking for someone. It was barely sun-high. Here we go, Gorsefur thought. Taking a measured breath, he stepped into the sunlight. "Look," I say through gritted teeth. "I get one day off, can we please not...you know?" "Be ourselves?" Adderscar asks drily. All of them, save for Shadowsong, are pacing and muttering and generally driving me nuts. Honestly, it's like I have four more kits than I should. "Yes." "Guys, let's just keep calm," Grayleaf meows. Oakclaw nods, a tuft of fur falling over his eyes. He looks exhausted, almost as bad as me. Of course, he and I have very different problems. Shadowsong's the only one not pacing around. She's sitting, scoring deep gouges in the earth with her claws. Her expression is pensive, but her eyes are far off. It's not the worst we could have expected. Adderscar suddenly turns so that he's facing us all. "I have to go talk to Waterstar. Call me when something important happens." "Waterstar?" Grayleaf squeaks. "You can't just-" "Don't leave," Oakclaw hisses. He darts over to Adderscar. "We all need to be here. The new guy's coming and...we just all need to be here." His eyes flicker back to where Shadowsong has begun a new row of scratches into the dirt. Adderscar eyes him apathetically. "Look, death happens. Cats die, and as much as I can understand that, life keeps going. Even if you wish it wouldn't." "Adderscar!" I scold. He rolls his eyes and turns, waving his tail in farewell before he hobbles off to do StarClan knows what. "Am I the only one still stuck on the Waterstar thing?" Grayleaf asks, eyes wide. "I mean...it's Waterstar. You don't just casually..." He blinks. "It's Waterstar." "Yeah," Oakclaw huffs. "And it's Adderscar. Let's be real, he runs WaterClan." I sit, looking at my paws. They look softer, rounder. The paws of a queen, not a warrior. It's only when Oakclaw asks, "You okay?" do I realize I'm grimacing. "She misses her kits," Shadowsong drawls. "Tumbling and tussling and...tumbling..." I'm spared from an angry response by a scent drifting by on a breeze. "Gorsefur's here!" "StarClan help us," Grayleaf murmurs. I wonder if he's being sarcastic or not. Probably not. We really could use some help. Gorsefur comes into view, far enough away that he can't see us. We all peer around the corner of the den, barely breathing as the cat- the replacement- comes into view next. It's a tom, I can tell from the scent. His pelt is long, almost shaggy, and a warm brown color. I can see faint tabby stripes, a few shades darker than his fur color, scouring his side. As he and Gorsefur get closer, I see that his eyes are a light blue. At least they're not the same vibrant blue color of Stormflight's eyes. Of Thundercloud's eyes. Then I seriously think someone might have killed him. "Does someone know his name?" "Freshkill," Shadowsong mutters. Oakclaw darts a nervous glance over at her and I feel just a little bit of terror creeping into my heart. "Guys?" Gorsefur calls warily. As he's about to round the corner, we all spring back. I sit and start licking my paw like my life depends on it, Oakclaw starts animatedly discussing the weather with Grayleaf. Shadowsong rolls her eyes and flops down on her side. My mate rounds the corner with the new tom, and his eyes find mine. They're a little scared, but as soon as he looks at me he calms down a little. I feel my own heart rate even out a little and I exhale a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Everyone," Gorsefur meows cautiously. "This is Sedgewhisker." Sedgewhisker waves his tail, looking at each of us. The silence seems to last an eternity, and so I break it with an awkward barrage of speech. "Grayleaf's the medicine cat, he's the gray one. And Oakclaw's the big tom there and next to him is Shadowsong and she's having a little she-cat trouble, so just ignore her if she's grumpy-" "I am not!" Shadowsong protests, half snorting half glaring. "-and I'm Brookfall and I'm the second." I take a big breath. "Nice to meet you." Sedgewhisker blinks, then purrs, "Nice to meet you too." He tips his head and I hear Oakclaw mutter a curse- that was exactly what Snowflight would do now. "You're Gorsefur's mate, right? You just had kits?" "Yup, three kits, yup." I almost wince at myself. Aren't I supposed to be the sociable one? More silence. "So..." Gorsefur says finally. "I guess-" "Look," Shadowsong stands and I feel my heart sink. "Adderscar's not here, so I'm going to be the fox-heart." "You are the fox-heart," Oakclaw mutters. Without looking, she cuffs him on the ear. "You're here to replace someone we really cared about. And he's dead. Not on vacation, not off having zillions of annoyingly cute kits. So, I'm sure you're a nice guy and all, but the fact remains." She advances on him, glaring. To Sedgewhisker's credit, he doesn't back down, just looks at her with wide eyes. "If I could trade Stormflight dying for you, I would," Shadowsong takes a step back, purring mirthlessly. "And that's the truth! So welcome to the squad, odds are you'll be dead as soon as we get around to liking you. Which might be a while." She shoves past him and Gorsefur, stalking away from the rest of us. Oakclaw darts after her, muttering something to Gorsefur, who winces. "Kits!" I practically shout. "I mean, I should go check on the kits. Um...nice meeting you Sedgewhisker." I turn and start to walk away. I hear Gorsefur say something behind me and then he's beside me. "What are you doing?" I whisper. "Shouldn't you be...commandeering?" "Just keep walking," he sighs. Grayleaf blinked at Sedgewhisker who blinked back. In all of his medicine cat training, Grayleaf had been taught how to handle psychological problems. Common things, for both on the field and when warriors were adjusting to life back in the camps. He had not been taught how to handle a cat who had basically just been told that someone wished he was dead. "Look," Sedgewhisker finally said. "Can I be honest?" "Of course," Grayleaf said. The brown tom padded over and sat next to him. Not too close though, Grayleaf was thankful for that. In everyone's emotions and reactions, the squad had pretty much forgotten that Stormflight was Grayleaf's best friend. Of course, it was easy to forget him, since he was quiet, kind, didn't make a fuss. "I've heard so much about this squad," Sedgewhisker said. "I mean, you guys are kind of celebrities." Grayleaf wasn't really sure how to respond to that. "But I know that...there have been others who died. Before the cat I'm replacing. Did they treat the others this way too? Or is it...just me?" Grayleaf looked at Sedgewhisker. He honestly didn't know what to make of him. The others were so easy to categorize- Gorsefur was their heroic leader, Oakclaw the brash tom, Shadowsong the broken warrior, Brookfall the sweet den-mother. Sedgewhisker hadn't been given a chance to make an impression before the others wrote him off. Even Gorsefur and Brookfall had just walked away. Adderscar hadn't even stuck around to see the new tom for himself. And Sedgewhisker had a point. "Actually," Grayleaf said. "Only one's died. I mean, we got reshuffled..." he was reluctant to go on but Sedgewhisker was looking at him so...hopefully. Grayleaf wasn't exactly the most stubborn cat around. "Well, on their first big mission, they lost two cats. Technically three. The commander...retired, so Gorsefur had to take his position. And Silverflower, the medicine cat, was killed. So they needed a warrior- to replace Gorsefur- and a medicine cat. Stormflight was the warrior, and no one hated him because...well, he wasn't really replacing anyone. Gorsefur was still there." "Wasn't there another one?" Sedgewhisker asked. "A she-cat?" "Oh, yeah," Grayleaf felt his ears get hot in embarrassment. "Briarclaw. She was replacing Adderscar, but he wasn't actually dead either. He just ran away for a while because he was in love with Silverflower and her death kind of screwed him up." "I don't think I met him..." Sedgewhisker mused. "He was...erm...busy," Grayleaf offered, aware of how bad he sounded. "Anyways, the only real replacement was...well, me." "And did they hate you?" Grayleaf shifted uncomfortably. "Well...no. See, Shadowsong, Oakclaw, and Gorsefur all started out together. Way back when. My parents were on that squad and I was kind of...erm...born during a mission. So they kinda had to like me because they already did." Sedgewhisker looked at him with wide eyes, "StarClan, how old are you? Eight moons?" Grayleaf fluffed up his fur, "I am not! Look, it doesn't matter, okay? The point is that...well, I guess they haven't had to deal with an actual...replacement before. One they could hate at least." "Did Adderscar hate you?" Grayleaf blinked at the new tom uncomprehendingly. "You were the replacement for his girlfriend," Sedgewhisker explained. "When he came back did he...hate you?" Grayleaf blinked. "Well, actually that might explain a few things." Sedgewhisker tipped his head in confusion and Grayleaf rushed to elaborate. "Well, see, there was this psychopath, well actually he was Stormflight's father and anyways he forgot what his son looked like so he and Gorsefur and I..." Catching Sedgewhisker's expression, he trailed off. "You know what, not really important." "Okay, well...can I ask one more thing?" Grayleaf nodded and Sedgewhisker looked over his shoulder, then back to Grayleaf. "Um...Shadowsong. What's her deal?" Grayleaf sighed, stretching his front paws. "That," he meowed. "Is a very long story." "I really should go back," Gorsefur says. But, like the other ten times he's said it, he doesn't move, just stands there looking guilty. "Gorsefur, we all lost Stormflight and Snowflight," I whisper, pressing against him. "You don't have to be so stoic just because you're the commander." "It's not that," Gorsefur meows, looking at me with dark eyes. "It's...Sedgewhisker." "The new guy?" I asked, surprised. Why would Gorsefur be upset already about the new cat. We just met him. "I miss them as much as everyone else," Gorsefur starts, defensively. His shoulders slump and he sits. "But...it's not fair. To treat Sedgewhisker like he's the one who killed them, just because he's replacing them." I sit next to him, let him lean on me. "I know that. But it's hard to look at him and not see them. His eyes are blue, like Stormflight. He tips his head, like Snowflight did." "But they're not the same!" Gorsefur explodes, standing and beginning to pace. "My fur is gray like Stormflight and Oakclaw's practically his clone and Shadowsong and Snowflight were sisters and-" "Gorsefur..." hesitantly, I stand and walk over to where he is. "Where's this coming from?" "It's just not fair," he mutters. Maybe he's not just talking about how Sedgewhisker's getting treated. With Shadowsong being the way she is (which she has a total right to), it's hard for anyone else to feel like they can grieve. How can you miss cats more than the one who watched them die? Oakclaw can talk about it with her, so he can relieve some stress that way. I have the kits. Adderscar's kind of a sociopath. But Gorsefur...he's got to be strong for the rest of us. And that isn't fair. "I mean, we're acting like a bunch of fox-hearts," he sighs. I blink. ...or maybe he just thinks we're being ridiculous. "Do you want to go back?" I ask. "Yes," he says. But, again, he doesn't move. Purring, but also feeling incredibly sad, I sit by him again, and he leans into me. Grayleaf had been talking for hours. It was almost sunset and the others still hadn't come back. He was hungry. He was tired. "Do you want me to grab you some prey?" Sedgewhisker asked. Grayleaf nodded wordlessly and Sedgewhisker stood, shaking the moss out of his fur. "You like rabbit, squirrel...what?" "Mouse," Grayleaf said. "Thanks." The brown tom padded off and Grayleaf put his chin on his paws, exhaling. He hadn't known what to talk about with Sedgewhisker, so he'd basically just regaled him with tales of all of their missions. Since he joined. It had taken a long time. Grayleaf felt his eyes getting heavy and he blinked, trying to keep himself awake. He wanted Briarclaw to be here, but she had left. He wanted Stormflight to be here, but he was gone. Feeling ridiculous for the tears rising in his eyes, Grayleaf took a steadying breath. "You're a medicine cat," he growled, trying to sound as tough as...well, as tough as anyone else really. "Cats die. Deal with it." "You okay?" Grayleaf looked up to see Gorsefur and Brookfall looking at him with concern. He nodded and forced a purr. "I'm fine." Sedgewhisker padded through the forest, scenting the air and adjusting his course when necessary. By the time he had come back with Grayleaf's mouse, Gorsefur and Brookfall were back. To ease the sudden tension in the air, he had excused himself and decided to just hunt for his own food. It would take longer and let him think for a while. He liked Grayleaf, felt bad for him too. It was obvious that the tom was often...overlooked by the others. Gorsefur and Brookfall seemed okay too, but the whole situation was just so awkward and...well, awful. He didn't much blame them for acting the way they did. A skitter on the ground made his ears perk up. He crouched and drew himself forward, slowly. Patience. The mouse (or whatever it was) was behind a huge oak tree. Holding his breath, Sedgewhisker rocked back, and then threw himself around the tree. "What the-" The two cats tumbled for a moment before they stopped and Sedgewhisker realized he had accidentally attacked the black she-cat from his squad. Shadowsong. "StarClan, I am so-" "There's an entire forest out there for you to roll around in!" she yowled. "And you tackle me?!" "It was-" "Listen here, Sandwhisper-" "Sedgewhisker." "-if you like the air you're breathing, stay out of me way. Got it? Good." Shadowsong turned and started to stalk away. Sedgewhisker followed her. "Shadowsong?" She muttered something and turned, glaring. "What?" It was hard not to be intimidated by her. But the fact that he wasn't hot-headed or confrontational didn't mean that Sedgewhisker wasn't tough. "Why are you so much more...unforgiving about this than the other?" A blank stare was the only response he got, like she didn't understand the question. "The others are obviously sad about what happened, but you..." he tipped his head, thinking. Shadowsong flinched and he wondered why. "You're completely broken. Grayleaf and Stormflight were best friends I know, but were you close to him too?" She padded closed, until they stood about a fox-length away from each other. "Stormflight was like my little brother. Which is probably how the others felt too." Sedgewhisker knew he was being rude, but the curiosity was insane. Besides, she told him she wished he was dead within five moments of knowing him; didn't this even that out? "So why-" "Because," Shadowsong spit out, "I'm not just mourning Stormflight." Blinking, and feeling like a complete fox-heart, Sedgewhisker meowed, "I'm so sorry, I didn't know. Did a family member get sick or something?" Shadowsong snorted and turned, walking away so he couldn't see her face. "Yeah," she called over her shoulder. "Something like that." "He doesn't know about Snowflight." Everyone's head snaps up as Shadowsong pads into the den. She glares at Gorsefur, completely ignoring Oakclaw who's glaring at her. He just finished telling us about how she lost him in the forest and made him spend ages looking for her. Gorsefur clears his throat. "Well...no..." "Why not?" "Wait," Grayleaf looks at her in confusion. "You said you hated him, why do you want him to know about your sister?" "There's no way it's going to stay secret!" Shadowsong exclaims. "What if he's another...another Moonclaw?" "What if he's not?" Grayleaf defends. I look at him, a little perplexed by how vehement he sounds. "He's a really nice cat. You all wrote him off just because he's-" Grayleaf stops talking and stands, stalking out of the den. "Did that just happen?" Oakclaw asks. "I'll go talk to him," Gorsefur sighs. The moment he stands, we hear pawsteps from outside. I expect it to be Grayleaf, but it's Adderscar who pokes his head in. "Hey, I just-" he blinks. "Where's the new guy? Did you kill him already?" "Hunting," Shadowsong meows through gritted teeth. "Okay, well," Adderscar looks at Gorsefur. "Waterstar said I had to tell you that I'm going on some missions with another squad. So you don't wonder where I am or whatever." He rolls his eyes at the last part. "What?!" Gorsefur blinks, totally surprised. "Why?" Adderscar just gives him a look and then waves his tail at the rest of us before padding out of the den. By the time Sedgewhisker returns, laden with freshly caught prey, most of the others are asleep. Since the kits are with Gorsefur's parents, I'm trying to relax a little by looking at the stars. It's not as calming as it used to be- maybe because I now know so many cats who are up in StarClan. "Hey, Brookfall." I look up and see Sedgewhisker. He drops a mouse at my paws. "I'm going to take this to the piles, okay?" Nodding, I watch as he pads off into the night. "Sedgewhisker?" He turns. His blue eyes are nothing like Stormflight- Stormflight's were full of fire. Sedgewhisker's eyes are like the river, the sky. I want to tell him that I'm sorry, that it'll get better, that we're just hurting right now. "Thanks," I say. He nods, looking a little confused, and then vanishes into the night. Category:Artimas Hunter's Fanfics